The sensation of dejavu was almost too overwhelming. The moment Roman’s arms went around Isis, she forgot where she was. She forgot everything except the smell of him and the feel of him.
In a daze, she followed Roman and the hostess to their table. Once they sat, the daze wore off and awkwardness set in.
Roman was the first to speak, gently saying, “You can ask me anything you’d like. Or tell me what you need, or don’t need…” He paused, slightly unsure, but continued “I will be completely honest with you. I just want to clear up everything that happened.”
They hadn’t discussed why they were meeting up, it just kind of happened. But she had done a lot of thinking and there were definitely questions she wanted answers too.
“I guess no small talk huh? Jumping right into it.” She laughed gently.
Their waitress approached and they ordered food and drinks.
“You said Ava kissed you. Did you kiss her back?”
Without hesitating he answered, “It happened so fast. For a second, I think I did. I don’t know why. I promise I don’t have feelings for her and never have. When I pushed her away, she laughed it off like it was no big deal, so I laughed too.”
God that stung. But she had asked, and he had answered.
She continued, “You just laughed? It would have been nice if you told her your girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate that. Why did you hang out with her again after that?”
“I was bored out of my mind, with you grounded. We always hung out as kids and I just didn’t think anything of it.” He inhaled and continued. “After she made a move on me I should never have seen her again, but nothing else happened, I promise.”
She reminded herself to keep breathing. She wasn’t done. She collected her thoughts and continued.
“She knew we were together and purposely chose to do that. And to think of you two walking around school knowing what happened behind my back… it makes me feel stupid. Why didn’t you tell me?” She looked at his face, trying to read the emotions there.
Their drinks came then, and Isis eagerly grabbed her iced tea, thankful for something to do with her hands. She took a sip and was about to repeat her question, but he looked her directly in the eyes and answered.
“Isis, I was SO stupid. I was scared you would have left me if I told you. I know that was a selfish reason and I fucked up. I never meant to make you feel that way, but I did, and I’m so sorry.”
He took a breath, maintaining eye contact with her, and kept going. “I am so sorry for keeping it from you, for not giving YOU the choice to stay or leave. Instead, you had to find out the wrong way and it’s like the choice was forced on you. I don’t blame you for breaking up with me.”
As hard as all of this was, she realized she was already forgiving him. She missed him so much and she was tired of the void she felt from his absence. She wanted him back in her life.
He looked at her as if trying to analyze what she was thinking. “Can I ask you something?”
She nodded and he said, “The way you left that day in the gym, there was so much left unspoken and it killed me knowing how angry you were. Why didn’t you reply to any of my texts? I thought you hated me, so I guess I’m just wondering why you agreed to meet me today?”
“I was grounded again, after we broke up, so I didn’t have my phone. I wasn’t purposely ignoring you, but I think it was for the best.” She inhaled slowly and continued. “Roman, I don’t hate you. I was so hurt that I didn’t know how to cope. I just needed time to clear my thoughts.”
He was looking at her so intensely, with so much sincerity in his eyes, as he said, “I am so sorry, Isis.”
A tight knot was forming in her throat. She said, so quiet that he had to lean in to hear her, “Tell me again, that you’re sorry…”
He leaned forward, his face intense and his eyes full of sincerity.
“Isis. I am SO sorry for hurting you. I am so sorry for disrespecting you and our relationship.” He hesitated as he continued, “I don’t know if you can forgive me, but I want to prove to you how much you mean to me. If you’ll let me.”
She heard his voice falter as he finished.
They looked at each other, all of their emotions laid bare and raw and visible. She felt a deep understanding with him. She had gotten everything she wanted from this talk.
“I think I’m forgiving you. I’m trying. I miss you Roman. I -”
Just then, he gripped her hands in his, firmly and sweety at the same time. She sat there, soaking the moment in. He slowly lifted one hand and caressed her cheek, and asked “Isis Amelia Madsen, will you let me prove how much you mean to me? Will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend, officially?”
She laughed, catching onto the way he phrased that question. It was the same way he had asked her the first time, what felt like ages ago.
The waitress came with their food and asked if they needed anything else. When she left, Isis smiled at Roman, “Yes I will, Roman Anthony Berry.”
He laughed out loud, a wholesome laugh that touched Isis’s core.
She added with a mischievous grin, “But you’re on probation.”
They ate happily and when they stood up to leave, Roman grabbed her suddenly and kissed her.
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