This post contains spoilers if you have not read up to Chapter 2.20
Hi guys, it’s Kristin. I’m sitting here, feeling really bad, because I’m about to blow up poor Isis’s life. So I thought it was a good time to take a break and tell you a little about my writing journey, share my thoughts on certain scenes, and give you a better understanding of my characters.
My Writing Journey
When I was in 6th grade, my grandma gifted me my first journal. I quickly filled it up with my day-to-day thoughts and have continued to fill countless journals throughout my life. I’ve always had a journal, a notebook, or a notepad nearby. I take notes on anything, keep lists of everything, scribble down dreams, document ideas, and never stop logging my thoughts. Writing has always been part of who I am… but I’m not a storyteller.
I started reading SimLit just about 2 years ago (well past its popular heyday) and one day I impulsively decided to start my own legacy story. Things were light and funny in the beginning but as I continued playing and writing, I started taking my storytelling more seriously. When I began Isis’s story, I was surprised at how easily the ideas flowed from my brain! Before I consciously realized it, I had created two characters, Isis and Jackie, who each felt like different parts of myself when I was younger. I was telling a story and using my own experiences as inspiration for the plots. Is this what it feels like to be a writer?!!
Okay, so I’ll never publish a novel but I’m very proud of my story so far!
Isis’s Moral Evolution
In the beginning we see a timid girl who blushes at everything, is pampered and adored by her parents, and has literally zero real world experience. She DID ask to go to public school, which shows she is curious to expand her horizons, but her maturity level is a little behind that of her classmates. As time passes and she spends more time with Jackie, she slowly becomes more sure of herself. I hope I did a decent job portraying Isis’s eyes opening as she experiences things for the first time.
At this current point in the story, she’s now lying, drinking, sneaking around, choosing excitement over safety, and ignoring relationship red flags.
There have been quite a few moments with Roman that the average person would question: The text he got on the first day of school. His “I’m dealing with something” comment. His coldness about Isis’s streaming. Ava’s cryptic “Nice to see you again” comment.
Instead of insisting they talk about these things, she sweeps them under the rug and never questions Roman. Is she purposely ignoring signs that she knows are leading to something bad? Or is she truly that oblivious? I haven’t even decided so I would love to know your thoughts!
When there were signs of Jackie’s abuse, and when she discovers the abuse, she chooses to keep quiet. These are shocking moments to a girl who has been so sheltered, and I pointed that out with Jackie yelling at her for “standing there looking stupid”. Is staying quiet the right decision? Does she do it out of loyalty? Out of fear? Or is she that naive and doesn’t realize the gravity of the situation?
Isis choosing to stream instead of getting a “normal” job is her way of breaking away from what’s expected of her. All her life she’s played it safe and followed the rules. This is a moment when we see Isis becoming more independent and confident.
Jackie’s Abuse & Behaviors
The abuse was a plot I knew I was going to use from the very beginning. The story is from Isis’s POV so she had to be there to witness something, but since it’s such a pivotal and emotionally charged scene, I wanted you to directly feel Jackie’s pain. Hence the journal entry chapter, which I thought was a brilliant idea.
This scene also explains a lot about Jackie’s personality. At times, she can seem a little unlikeable or untrustworthy. If she rubs you the wrong way, that’s okay, because I’m aiming to write a character who is often misunderstood.
On the surface she’s an opinionated, wreckless, wild child. In reality, this is a girl who is abused, neglected, and desperate for independence. She is “playing tough” because it’s a survival mechanism to mask her vulnerabilities and insecurities. Knowing these things about her, do you think she’s a bad influence on Isis? Is Isis a good influence on her?
We don’t know how long her stepdad has been making passes at her, but that definitely had an influence on her decision to start webcamming. As sick as it is, she learned at a young age that she was sexually desirable, so it seems fitting she found a way to use her sexuality as currency. She lights up when talking about camming because it’s something in her life she feels she can control.
Jackie’s dating history can also be explained by her childhood. Having shitty parental figures and no role models in her life, she doesn’t understand how healthy relationships work. As a victim of sexual and physical abuse, Jackie seeks out boys to fill a void, to feel wanted, to numb her pain, and to distract her from real life.
This is a heartbreaking reality for many women, including myself, who suffered abuse.
Roman’s Sudden Secrecy
Oh Roman. Such a sweet and charming boy but he IS just a boy, and he’s made a very bad decision.
The story continues soon! Hope you’re on my subscriber list so you get notified when the next chapter is posted!
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