Warning: This post contains abuse.
An entry from Jackie’s journal:
Me and Isis had a fight and I hate my fucking stepdad. Ugh where do I even start? She came over and we were getting ready to go to the bowling alley and I needed some cash so I told her to wait in my room while I asked my stepdad. He didn’t want to give me any because he said I’ve been “ungrateful” and haven’t shown that I care about him. He says shit like that all the time and he’s a fucking perv, I know that, I’m not dumb. But I bat my eyes and act all cutesy and he gives in. That’s ALL.
But tonight he was drunk and wouldn’t give me any cash so I got pissed off, called him an asshole, and started walking away. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. I tried to push him but he had me pinned and started GROPING me. I yelled and Isis must have heard and she came out. When my stepdad saw her he backed off and said I was trying to hit him! Like, what the actual fuck. I was so angry at this point that I told Isis to stop standing there looking stupid. I was mean but didn’t care. She’s so fucking innocent it drives me crazy sometimes.
She ran back to my room and I followed her. She told me I needed to tell my mom. HA! My mom hasn’t had a real conversation with me in ages. She acts sooooo annoyed if I try to talk to her, like I’m such a burden to deal with. I hate her. She sleeps past noon, goes out to god-knows-where, comes home wasted, and passes out to start the cycle again. Then Isis had the nerve to say I should move out of my house. As if that’s the easiest thing to do! I told her not everybody lives in fantasyland with rich parents and a perfect life. She started crying and grabbed her stuff and left.
So now I’m sitting here trying to forget the feel of his gross hands on me. Trying not to feel guilty about Isis. I HATE feeling anything. I’m going to sneak a bottle from the kitchen and go drink somewhere.
Leave a Reply