Warning: This post depicts sexual assault.
The morning after the party.
Isis woke up and didn’t know where she was. Blackout curtains were pulled shut in the unfamiliar room, but she knew it was daylight because a tiny sliver of light shone through a crack. She was relieved to see Roman sleeping next to her but didn’t know how they got here.
When she sat up, her head felt like it was going to explode. How much had she drank? She pulled her knees up and rested her head on them, hugging her legs.
Then flashes of the night before played in her head. Walking past the fountain with rose petals. Watching the embers of the fire. Roman had to leave. Why did Roman have to leave? A room with books. Then a pit formed in her stomach. Somebody on top of her. Rough hands on her thighs. Hot breath on her neck. She was trying to fight with limbs that felt like lead weights.
Sweat beaded on her skin and she lifted her head up.
She couldn’t breathe.
Oh my god she couldn’t breathe.
Roman rolled over and saw her awake. He sat up quickly and reached for her, but she scrambled backwards, hitting the wall behind her.
No. No. Where was she? What was going on? Roman was talking but she couldn’t hear over the pounding of her head and the ringing in her ears. Jackie came rushing into the room and crawled to sit in front of Isis on the bed. Jackie put her palms on Isis’s cheeks, holding her face gently. Jackie was crying and talking to her but she still couldn’t hear. Isis looked into her best friends eyes. What she saw there confirmed her fears.
Last night really happened.
Jackie took her to the emergency room and it was all a blur.
Isis never let Jackie leave her side and kept a death grip on her hand for most of it.
They did a physical exam. They did a blood and urine test. They offered to contact her parents. She said no. They offered to contact law enforcement. She said okay. An officer took her statement. They went back to Austin’s. Roman wanted to talk. Isis didn’t want to talk. Eventually she had to go home.
One week after the party.
Isis was lying on her bed after school, staring at the ceiling, with thoughts racing through her mind.
She couldn’t stop replaying every little moment that led up to that night. How could she have been so stupid? She wished she could go back and make different choices. She was sick with guilt and shame. Guilt because she promised her parents she would do better. Shame that they would be disappointed in her.
She hadn’t told them because she wanted more than anything to go back to being the girl who made her parents proud.
As if on cue, she heard a faint knock on the door. She just lay there, no desire to move. Her parents slowly opened her bedroom door and walked in. They came around to her side of the bed and looked down at her with concern etched all over her faces.
Her dad said softly, “Isis. We know something is going on. We don’t want to push you, but we’re here for you, if you want to talk about anything.”
Her mom sat on the bed, speaking slowly, “Honey, you haven’t been yourself. You’re scaring us.”
She laid her hand on Isis’s arm and looked at her daughter, pleading.
“Isis, I love you so much. What is going on? Please…”
Tears started to puddle in Isis’s eyes. Her mom leaned down and hugged her, and Isis reached her arms up to hold her mom, clutching her tightly. Heaving sobs started to wrack her chest and tears flooded down her face.
Her dad seemed to be in shock for a second. Then he leaned over and fiercely wrapped his large arms around her.
She didn’t want to burden them, especially with her mom being pregnant.
But she felt so alone and scared.
So, she started talking.
Three weeks after the party.
Isis had told her parents everything. And they didn’t react lightly.
They went to the police station to speak with the officer who talked to Isis at the hospital. He told them a report was filed but there was nothing else to do since they didn’t know who this guy was.
So then they hired a digital private investigator. Isis didn’t even know that was a thing, and she thought it was ridiculous, but her parents wouldn’t let it go. The P.I. downloaded the data from Roman’s phone and explained that the spoof text was sent using some kind of hacking software. It was sent from a burner phone right here in Newcrest. And that was as much as they could do.
Austin had talked to Elliot, the guy who threw the party, and he didn’t know who this Theo guy was. In fact, nobody seemed to know who he was or where he came from.
The toxicology tests came back positive for benzodiazepines. She had been drugged.
The physical exam determined she had not been raped. But she had haunting flashbacks of the things that DID happen. Things she did not tell anybody about.
But Isis didn’t care about any of this. She wished everybody would drop it all!
She saw pity in Roman’s eyes. She saw anxiety in Jackie’s eyes. She saw sadness in her parents’ eyes. Everybody was walking on eggshells around her and she hated it.
She wished she could erase the guilt eating at her. She knew how much she disappointed her parents and let them down. They had finally been getting close again, and she ruined it in one stupid night. They assured her they weren’t mad and told her it had been out of her control, but she knew her actions led her to where she was.
She just wanted to go back to normal.
She was laying outside by the pool, attempting to enjoy the sunshine. All she wanted was for the warmth to defeat the listlessness and dull ache that had been plaguing her for the last couple weeks. She just wanted one blissful moment without any bad memories eating at her.
Her phone chimed and she reached under her towel where it was tucked away from the sun. When she saw that it was Jayson, her frustration dissipated.
Talking with him felt more normal than talking to anybody else, because he didn’t know what had happened to her. He wasn’t looking at her differently and he wasn’t treating her differently. She knew he might have had a crush on her at one point, but there was nothing inappropriate between them.
Jayson: I’m a little stumped on the third prompt of our Economics homework. Wondering if you wanna work through it with me?
Isis: Unfortunately I’m busy getting a tan and nowhere near that dreadful homework.
Jayson: Darn. When you’ve achieved the status of bronzed goddess, look it over and get back to me!
They texted for a few more minutes and she stuffed her phone back under her towel. She relaxed into the lounge chair, trying to forget that her life had been completely derailed.
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